Mommy Fail

Mommy Fail
Season 1

 
 
00:00 / 23:02
 
1X
 

In this episode, Josselyn and Lauren dive right into what it means to fail like a mom. I mean, boss. Fail like a boss.

Transcription:

A huge thank you to Katie Rude for volunteering her time to make our podcast more accessible!  More transcriptions are coming so stay tuned!

Lauren: Hi and welcome to the Messy Bun Girls podcast! My name is Lauren; I’m your ginger host.

Josselyn: And my name is Josselyn and I’m your blonde host. And we’ve created this podcast as a source of entertainment, and encouragement, and love to all you dishwasher, taxi drivers, therapists, and personal chefs, stylists, and shoppers out there. AKA moms. All you moms out there.

Lauren: All you moms out there! We love you.

Josselyn: We do love you!

Lauren: Alright, are you ready for this?

Josselyn: Yeah! I think so!

Lauren: Okay I got some questions from our listeners

Josselyn: Oooooo

Lauren: Yeah I know, exciting! So our first question comes from Bridgette Gobal from Cincinnati. And she asks, “When lives are busy with so many activities, how do you truly make time to keep the house clean and keep up with the laundry? I ask as a mom of three with a part-time job and successful side business who currently has two weeks of folded laundry still piled up on her son’s floor waiting to be put away. Tips to keep up on household essentials would be nice.”

Josselyn: Oh Bridgette.

Lauren: Okay, so yeah. Can we just first say how much I hate laundry in particular? Like I hate it. I’ll put it in and I’ll actually switch it, but I am really happy to leave it there. And just every day come down and get what I need. I mean I hate folding and putting laundry away. So Bridgette, my advice to you would be to do nothing different than what you’re doing. And maybe burn the laundry. In a safe way. Just find a way to burn the laundry so you never have to do it again.

Josselyn: Yeah that would work.

Lauren: Maybe have your son do the laundry.

Josselyn: Yeah, so I have started teaching my six year old and eight year old. I got them their own little laundry baskets and with all intention of teaching them how to do the laundry, but you know what? Now I have three laundry baskets to carry down the stairs. Like that is just so dumb!

Lauren: So that backfired on you?

Josselyn: It did not work.

Lauren: Oh my gosh, there’s a new machine coming out that will fold them!

Josselyn: My husband just sent it to me!

Lauren: And I was like, I need this! I need it! And Mark was like, “It’s like $800.” So I was desperately trying to find a way to justify this expense! Please get me this new friend!

Josselyn: My husband was like, “Do you want this?”

Lauren: Yes!

Josselyn: And said, “Its $800!” And he looked at me like, “So?”

Lauren: Say yes Josselyn!!

Josselyn: I know.

Lauren: Yes Jason, get her that and can you also get me one because I don’t think that my husband will get it for me.

Josselyn: So Bridgette, I would say you are doing awesome. And I think that anytime that you feel inadequate as a mom, just know that every other mom feels the exact same way. And it may not be with the laundry, but right now I’ve got so many dishes in my sink, it is out of control. Like really, I just, I’ve been eating off dirty dishes.

Lauren: How did people do this before machines?

Josselyn: I don’t know. And the laundry is one of my-I don’t like doing the laundry at all. I would wear dirty clothes.

Lauren: I would also wear dirty clothes! That’s your solution Bridgette!

Josselyn: I did it yesterday.

Lauren: Bridgette, just stop Just be like, “No I’m done! No more laundry!”

Josselyn: So yeah, more practical reasons or practical ideas. I tend to, when I get really motivated, and I’m like “I’m going to be the best house wife in the whole wide world!” I like to do small things every day. So I will do one thing. I won’t do everything. I will do one thing. I will be like, “I am doing one load of laundry and I’m going to put it away.”

Lauren: And actually finish it.

Josselyn: And I’m going to start it and I’m going to finish it and I’m going to put it away. And you know what? That sense of accomplishment that I have on the one day that I do it, it multiplies the next day. And then I’m like, “I’m going to do the dishes today.”

Lauren: Woot, woot!

Josselyn: Yay! So, just take it one chunk at time, but know that you are definitely not the only mama out there that’s dealing with this.

Lauren: Alright, so our next question comes from Janel.

She writes, “I need some creative ways to thank/appreciate my husband. Being sick lately, I’ve really needed time. So I’m grateful for everything he is doing for me and for our family.”

So first of all, that’s awesome that you’re even recognizing that your husband is amazing and it’s pretty awesome that he’s doing all these things.

Josselyn: Good job Janel!

Lauren: And your husband. I really think there’s one really obvious answer to this question.

Josselyn: Yeah, there is.

Lauren: There’s one really obvious one. I hope you’ve thought of it already.

Josselyn: Mhmm

Lauren: But I also probably think that you’re looking for other ideas because I could give you a lot of obvious creative ideas Janel, but I don’t think that’s what this podcast is about.

Josselyn: I think that now would be the time for us to come up with a name for this thing because I have a feeling that this will come up multiple times and we’re just going to call it napping. Okay?

Lauren: You guys could take a nap.

Josselyn: And have some adult time. Okay. That would be the best way and your husband is probably nodding his head if he listening to this right now.

Lauren: And now also my mom cannot listen to this podcast.

Josselyn: No we’re just napping.

Lauren: I don’t know Janel. So for real sometimes, when you do feel better, I don’t know how sick you are, but call his friends, text his friends and arrange for a guy’s night out.

Just like say, “Go out for drinks, and enjoy your time.” Or if the weather were nicer because right now in Cincinnati it’s like eighty-five inches of snow and its horrible-does he play golf or do any of those things?

Make an afternoon of “you have been awesome I love you so much, I’ve arranged for this for you, just go and enjoy your day. ” What is the kind of thing you wish he would do for you? And then find the equivalent and do that for him.

Josselyn: I would figure out what his love language is because if you know what his love language is, and that is a book by Gary Chapman. It’s called The Five Love Languages. And it’s awesome. I recommend it to every married couple. And if you find out what his love language is then what you are doing for him will be more meaningful to him.

So like Lauren’s idea is great if your husband likes quality time. Acts of service is what my husband likes. Well, he’s physical touch, so napping is right up his alley. But after that.

Lauren: I think all men-

Josselyn: He’s an act of service. So when I make sure that there’s a spot for his shoes in his closet, he really likes that.

Lauren: I’m a service person too, that’s a legit thing!

Josselyn: I know! He asks for it all the time!

Lauren: A spot for shoes in the closet! This poor guy

Josselyn: Hi. I’m Josselyn. I have too many shoes. So yeah, it’s a real time problem.

Lauren: Guys, literally her shoes fall out of her closet. It’s like a cartoon.

Josselyn: It’s a real time problem. But yes, I would say figure out what his love language is and then try and do something that is around that because I am not acts of service at all. And so it is hard for me to think why anybody would think that putting their shoes away would be an act of love, but it is definitely an act of love for acts of service person.

Lauren: That’s a good point. Find his love language.

Josselyn: Find his love language and then

Lauren: Love him in it.

Josselyn: Go now.

Lauren: Okay! On to our next segment! Today’s topic is we’re talking about mommy fail. So I had asked some people to do the hashtag with mommy fail. Today we’re going to share some of our greatest failures as moms. So this should get really fun, really fast. So who goes first? You go first? I go first?

Josselyn: You can go first.

Lauren: Okay, I have a couple, but I can just start off with one. One of my favorites of all time. So my son David is five, well he’s five now, but at the time he was probably 3 and Viola was 1.5 or something. And we were going into the store and so you know how they’re automatic doors? And there’s always that vestibule or whatever. So you go in the one door but you’re in the inner space, but you’re not in the store yet.

So in the inner space, I put Viola down, and David and I continued to walk into the store, but Viola got distracted or something and didn’t. And I turn around and she’s trying to get to me, but she’s going in the wrong door. So when she steps on the pad to get in to the door, the door opens and just smacks my baby girl in the face. And she is so confused! And “Why is this happening to me?”, but she doesn’t move and so it just keeps going. And just keeping opening up and hitting her in the face. I’m like “Get off, get off the pad back up!” and she doesn’t understand. She’s just trying to come to me. So in my haste to get to her, I step on it again, and I let it hit her and smack her face just to get to her faster. And it was one of those things that if this was happening to a grown adult or to like a cartoon character, this would’ve been hilarious. But as it was, we’re just going to laugh about it later. Because it was not funny at the time and that was a mommy fail. Mommy fail.

Josselyn: That sounds funny. Alright so, one of my many many fails, we took a girls trip down to Dollywood. It was me, my mom, and my grandma and the girls. This was a couple years ago. So we’re at Dollywood. Dollywood is really cool place by the way. There’s a ton of theaters there. You can see all sorts of singing shows and the girls had a blast! It was awesome. So there’s one of these rides that we’re like “yeah let’s go on these rides!” You know when you look at a ride and you’re like “That looks like fun!” But you haven’t stood there long enough to see the entirety of the ride. But you see the end of it and you’re like “That looks like fun!” Mkay? So Stina and I both look at it like “That looks like fun!”

Okay. So we get in a line. There was no line. So we never saw the entirety of the ride. Ok? We walk up to the front, get right on the ride and now we are sitting on the ride and we’re like “this is going to be fun!” This ride went so high up in the air, so high, it went up and then it went up again and then it went up again. So now we are so so so high they’re little people on the ground and I’m with my daughter who is terrified and she’s like “When is it going to stop going up mommy?”

Lauren: We’ve made a mistake!

Josselyn: I immediately regret this decision. And now it starts spinning. I like spiny rides, but when I’m this high off the ground. It is spinning and it’s spinning so hard that now we are sideways. We’re not up up we are side side.

Lauren: And now we are surely going to die.

Josselyn: Surely just going to fall out with my seven year old, she was seven maybe six and a half at the time. She got off; she’s never gone on another ride with me. She’s nine. She’ll be nine next week.

Lauren: And she doesn’t want to go on rollercoasters with me.

Josselyn: She doesn’t do roller coasters at all. And you know me on a roller coaster is hilarious.

Lauren: I do know. It’s hilarious. You guys should come. We can go to King’s Isle with this girl and you won’t want to sit beside her. Sit in front of her and then you will hear her “Ahh, I’m gonna die! I’m gonna die!!”

Josselyn: Yes.

Lauren: So funny.

Josselyn: So my daughter takes after me now because I totally failed. I took her on a ride that I didn’t even want to go on. Whoops.

Lauren: I think that the lesson is. See now this is the responsibility in me coming out. Like at the whole ride.

Josselyn: Yeah, uh-huh. I know.

Lauren. Okay.

Josselyn: I didn’t do that. So that was one of my many many mommy fails.

Lauren: Well see now I’m curious because now you’ve got some notes here that say “puke stained bunk beds. I want to know that story.

Josselyn: So the last time we were doing the podcast, Lauren had this awesome mommy fail and then she turned to me and said “So what’s your mommy fail?” And I was like “Uhhhh”

Lauren: Guys she couldn’t think of anything!

Josselyn: I could not think.

Lauren: I was like, “I just put myself out there! And you’ve had no failure in your life?” This is awesome.

Josselyn: I couldn’t think of anything. So then I left the house and thought of a million things and then vomited them down on our little page. So now she’s reading back to me what I wrote. So puke stained bunk beds. You know when you hear the sound in the middle of the night.

Lauren: I’ve heard that sound very often this week!

Josselyn: Yeah there’s only one thing that can be making that sound and it is your daughter throwing up spaghetti. Yeah. We went in and it was like somebody died in her bed. It was like massacre. Red everywhere.

Lauren: Because of all the spaghetti sauce!

Josselyn: It was awful! Let me tell ya y’all, it was bad. We cleaned up what we thought was everything. And then the next, I don’t know, probably at least a week later, I look and there are drips down the side of her bunk bed. And I can’t get them off.

Lauren: It’s like they’re there now.

Josselyn: They are like a vampire ate my child in the middle of the night and just left these like stains down the side of her bunkbed. You know what, it is what it is.

Lauren: Makes for a good memory.

Josselyn: It does. Good, uh. Memory yes. Yes it was puked stained bunk beds.

Lauren: Nice.

Josselyn: It happens y’all it happens.

Lauren: So there was one time I was in the kitchen and the basement stairs had a gate. I thought the gate was closed because, you know I was a perfect mom and always closed the gate. And Viola was in the kitchen with me and I hear something falling and I was like oh she got in the pantry and knocked something over.

So I just kind of briefly looked and she’s not in the pantry. I turn my head even further and I see her tumbling down the basement stairs. Hand foot, It was almost like perfect gymnastics. She was just as stiff as a board; hand foot hand foot hand foot. I was like “Oh my gosh my poor baby! Oh my gosh!” But still wanting to do the mom thing of “Yay! You fell down!”

Josselyn: And that is a legit thing. When kids fall down your first inclination should be “Way to go!”

Lauren: Great job! You fell down an entire flight of stairs!

Josselyn: You’re not dead!

Lauren: She was not dead; she was very vocal about not being dead. And she was intimpant. She wasn’t hurt, she was mad at the stairs!

Josselyn: How could you do this to me!

Lauren: So this is what I learned when my two children were fundamentally different. David would have been like, “Why did the stairs did that to me? I don’t want go on the stairs right now.” And Viola was like, “I’m going to get back on those stairs!”

Josselyn: I own you stairs.

Lauren: Yeah! I was like maybe not sweetie! Maybe once, that was good. Let’s just do the one today. If you can learn how to do the stairs another day. Sorry

Josselyn: Yeah I hate that feeling. I had that once, but it wasn’t with my own child.

Lauren: Oh no!

Josselyn: Uh-huh. That’s worse.

Lauren: Uh, yeah. I broke your child would be the worst.

Josselyn: Here they are.

Lauren: Sorry.

Josselyn: Sorry. Luckily they weren’t broken but oh yeah! Do it to your own kids.

Lauren: Oh my gosh. Please actually don’t. Like just don’t

Josselyn: Like don’t do it to your own kids, but-

Lauren: Try to make mistakes on your own kids.

Josselyn: Yes.

Lauren: Try and make fewer mistakes. This is supposed to be an encouraging podcast.

Josselyn: Just be a mom y’all. Just do your best.

Lauren: That happened the other day. David looked at mama and I don’t know what he said, but I said “I’m doing my best!” And I just start crying. “I’m doing everything I’m doing! I’m doing my best!” He’s like “Mama why are you crying??” “Cause I’m just doing my best!”

Josselyn: Yeah! I seriously have that conversation with Stina all the time. Stina is my eldest daughter. She will be nine in a couple weeks and I tell her “Stina I have never been the mom of a nine year old before. Not ever, not once. This is my first time to screw this up. And I’m doing a beautiful job of it. But I’m trying my best.” “You’ve never been nine before; I’ve never been a mommy of a nine year old before. So you’ve gotta give me a little bit more grace please. I’m doing the best I can.”

Lauren: That’s good.

Josselyn: I’m trying.

Lauren: Alright so I want a segment that will always be different. We have some different ideas for it, but for this one we wanted to talk about something that happened this week. We want this podcast to be a really safe place. We’re not going to get controversial or political. But there was some news that happened this week where just using the quote that was used, there was some pretty poor language. And it was just all over the news and you couldn’t get away from it. And I just wanted to have a little bit of a statement out there just going “We’re not going to do that.” We are going to be a place you can feel safe listening to us with the kids in the car, or if you’re listening to it in the kitchen.

Josselyn: For sure.

Lauren: we’re not going to use bad language. We’re not going to talk about things that are stressful. We’re literally here just to yield some encouragement and love. Honestly when I first had this idea to do this podcast, my thought was “you know the negative is too loud,”

Josselyn: It’s overwhelming sometimes.

Lauren: there are a lot of great things out there or people giving encouragement or being positive but sometimes it doesn’t seem loud enough. It just can’t cut through all the negative. I just want to be another voice of positive encouragement out there.

Josselyn: Yes.

Lauren: So that is what this podcast is. No matter what you see on the new, we are going to continue to strive to be that for you. That’s what happened this weekend. And that’s what made me feel.

Josselyn: We’re going to do our best to also not be influenced by that.

Lauren: Yeah!

Josselyn: As a mom, I don’t want the world to be influencing my kids. I want Jesus to be influencing my kids. I want me to be influencing my kids.

Lauren: And you want, this is kinda strange, but you want your kids to be that positive influence for others.

Josselyn: Yes!

Lauren: Without absorbing that negative stuff.

Josselyn: Exactly! So I think I also want my children to be able to listen to this. This is something that in 20 years, when they have kids, they can be like” Hey mom had this podcast. She’s a dork. And I really don’t like her at all right now, but maybe she some good things to say.” I’m doing this not only for all of you mamas who need love just as much as I do, but also for my kids. So we’re going to keep it clean and we’re going to keep it funny and we hope you love it. We hope you fall in love with us.

Lauren: We’re fun people.

Josselyn: We’re super fun people.

Lauren: We’re also really dorky.

Josselyn: Totally messed up and crazy.

Lauren: And I’m not sure that you could, you could probably try, but to find two pretty opposite and different people to listen to for a half an hour, I think you found them.

Josselyn: Yup. Which I think makes it awesome.

Lauren: I hope you guys enjoy it. I love you friend.

Josselyn: I love you friend. And I love you friends! All of the four people that will be listening to this.



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